What no one tells you about when having a homebirth over 30+
Two lines. Automatically you’re filled with a bunch of feelings. What if I can’t do this? Will my baby be alright because I’m over 30? Maybe, you were that person who had dreamed of giving birth since you were younger. You always hoped to have a family, and then time took over. You got a job doing something amazing (or maybe you started your own business), and it took a while to find a partner to start your family with. Now you’re pregnant but you’re older than you wanted to be. You wanted that home birth, the twinkly lights, the support of a midwife, and you’re like… welp – now what. All your dreams don’t have to be crushed. Midwives do support women over thirty with some stipulations. Most government registered midwives only support home births with a mother over thirty if they are healthy enough. They normally coin this term… low risk. This would be that you’d have to be at a certain BMI range, no pregnancy complications (like gestational diabetes), and no fetal issues. So you’re low risk then you’re golden you can get yourself a registered midwife in your area to assist your birth. Now let’s hypothetically say you weren’t low risk and say you had GBS or gestational diabetes. Now the midwife might assign your care to the hospital. If this is the case you’ll have to determine if it’s worth finding a midwife that can support you, or going unassisted. (There is the option of hospital birth, and with a doula and a partner that is on your team and will help stand up for you… this might be a very viable option still). There is the option of a traditional midwife – this is someone that can be tricky to find, since they won’t be working in their governments order you might have to do some searching, connect with doulas in the area who may know of someone. They have less rules, and go based on your overall health and belief that you are able to have a homebirth. Or unassisted. Now freebirth can be considered a very taboo subject. Some doulas are trained and told not to attend an unassisted birth. I’m a firm believer that you are entitled to your choice. As a doula I was trained to not be biased and support your choice of birth you want. If freebirth is an option for you – the LARGEST part that might scare new parents such as yourself, is the what if’s. In freebirth planning, studying is a big part of your care now. There are courses such as this one (that I highly recommend) that will give you a lot of the information you need. But don’t stop there, take a moment and continue your research by reading books, some midwifery books like this Heart and Hands, I find has an in-depth knowledge that you would know some of the in’s and out’s of labor. With unassisted birth you’ll want to make sure both you and your partner have a plan in place, that there might be something you can’t handle and that you will need to transfer to hospital for a true emergency. Recognizing those signs with a detailed plan can be helpful for all present at your birth. Regardless of how you choose to birth, support is the number one key. Even with a homebirth. If that means mom, and your sister can be there too, perfect. Labor can be long, and the more hands to hold you up can make it just a little bit easier.
5 Things All Dads Need to Know During Pregnancy
5 Things to Note During Pregnancy || Dad Edition || I see you dad-to-be! This is a new experience for you both, and you’re going through things that you may not even quite understand. Don’t worry, although there are a lot of big things happening you are making a difference just by trying to learn how you can better help your partner. I believe that you need just as much support as the mother. Obviously, these are just a few things to help you get through the next nine months. Using these tips can help you make the pregnancy go through with a bit more ease. Did you know having sex won’t harm the baby? To this day it’s quite a common question that men still have today. It is also the punchline to a few jokes on TV.NCT took a much more in-depth look into the protection your baby gets and answers quite a few common questions around having sex when your partner is expecting. Just know that it’s completely safe, and everything will be fine. Just trust your partner and go with the flow. PRO TIP – In the first couple months the sex drive might be quite low, but by the second trimester that picks up. You probably don’t want to criticize her appearance! This might seem like common knowledge, but at times a joke that would have made her giggle, or have her understanding you’re just teasing, now might come off as a bear poking a hornet’s nest. Her body is changing a lot so it’s likely she is feeling insecure. This is the time to lift her up instead of tear her down. Whoops – what was I doing? Pregnancy brain is real. I’m not kidding, you would think that since she has two brains inside her right now that wouldn’t be the case. She will lose things or forget things, and you might be hearing the story about aunt Joan quite a few times. It might go away after birth or there are chances it can continue. There is another edition called mom brain. (Fun fact brain fog occurs during postpartum and even in menopause.) Her hormones are going through a lot of big changes Seeing the fact that your partner is growing another human body, hormones are shifting and changing its layout. You’ll see them being more hormonal than usual. Quick to sadness, or a temper that they never had. Lots of changes – not just on the outside but on the inside too. Did you know you can fill your schedule up with prenatals? Having prenatal visits with a doctor, the doula, midwife, and so forth are common. We want you there. The prenatals I have with dad present are so special. Don’t be shy and join them, of course I know work calls – but you don’t want to miss out unless you really have to. Those are just five things you should know when it comes to pregnancy and how you can be there for her. What are things you feel you need more understanding with, feel free to contact me and I can always try to help answer your questions too.
6 Positions to Push Baby Out
Time to push: Finding Birthing Positions That Work Best for You Birth is a very intimate time, and even more so when pushing. As seen on TV the common way is laying on your back, legs in the air on stirrups with your vagina on display for everyone to see. The doctors need a clear view to see the baby coming. Now go watch some home birth videos and come back to me. Baby can be brought into the world in quite a few different positions and you don’t need to do it the same way as you saw on TV. Plus if you learn the history, we’re being taught that it was because King Louis had a fetish for watching women give birth. So what are the six positions to push a baby out? Well to quote one of my friends Aja Vu – it’s probably one of the ways you got a baby in! Position 1: Side Lying In this position it can better allow you to rest between contractions, a partial squat that allows the pelvis to widen, and is excellent for pushing in. Position 2: Supported Wide-Forward Squat You may find this is optimal for you to deliver your baby because it opens the pelvis in this squatting position, and can be done with a partner or by using a chair. It also allows your belly to rest and settle between your knees. Position 3: Hands and Knees Hands and Knees is slowly becoming more common to give birth, giving you the chance to open the pelvis all while To give your arms a break, lower your shoulders to the bed or floor mat and place your head on a pillow. Position 4: Standing Opening your legs wide, and pulling on something from the ceiling or holding onto something is another option for pushing the baby out. I remember an old bible movie I watched and they stood while holding on a rope to push, allowing gravity to take control. Position 5: Supported Semi Sitting Let your partner be more available by sitting behind you, and grab a hold of those legs, all while widening your pelvis. This position also allows gravity to come into play when the baby comes into the world. Position 6: Using a Birth Stool/ Cub/ Squat Any of these options allow you to rest while putting your full force into pushing, and can give you something for guidance while holding on to something. Out of all these options, which one are you the most willing to try, or have tried with a previous birth? Never heard of any of this and you’re due soon? Time to get yourself a doula… I offer virtual and in-person services.
Your age shouldn’t stop you from having a baby
Don’t let your age stop you from having a baby! I said what I said. Advanced maternal age isn’t what it used to be. It’s not the dirty thing, it’s actually a very popular theme with working women, we’ve seen an increase in mothers over 35+. My background My mother was 36 when she had me. Even back in 2000, they considered her a geriatric mother. That term is so offensive in my opinion. There is nothing wrong with having a child over 35. But to continue my story, my mother continued to have five more pregnancies after me. One resulted in a miscarriage (the usual 1 in 4 statistic) and then her final child was born at the age of 42. Having older parents never really bothered me, the only time I suffered any type of problem was when other people would make a comment – asking if I was having fun with grandma… inserts rolling eye emoji The facts Advanced Maternal age is still discussed as a serious problem but over the past four decades there has been a dramatic increase of pregnancy over the age of 35. Rebecca Dekker has a PhD and is an RN. She has a wonderful handout to answer some serious questions in regard to advanced maternal age. According to ACOG – Older women are more likely to miscarry or have a stillbirth. They have a greater chance of developing gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, and of delivering a baby who is very small. Then there can be problems with labor, resulting in a higher chance of cesarean birth. And while pregnancy increases a woman’s risk of developing blood clots (deep vein thrombosis), this risk is higher for older moms. It’s important to understand, however, that age-related concerns rise gradually, not all at once at age 35. This was made by Rebecca Dekker. The downfalls The biggest problem that advanced maternal age comes down to is the struggle to conceive naturally. I’ve worked with multiple clients as birth support where age was one of the biggest issues with conception.(It’s why having a fertility doula on your side can be beneficial to support you through the ups and downs of trying to conceive) There is a decline in eggs as well as a higher risk in miscarriage. There is also a higher risk of pregnancy complications such as down syndrome, higher risk of stillbirth, preeclampsia, among others. The wrap up… Don’t let this discourage you from having a child ( or hell even children). Your body was designed to have children, even if it’s a bit harder you can do this. If this is something you want, find a supportive team that is in your court! They want to see you succeed and want to make your dreams come true. Having a baby is a blessing regardless of your age. This I do know. Of course, there will always be naysayers. Trust yourself.
Hypnobirthing Basics for First Time Parents
If you’re looking to have a natural birth. Regardless at home or in the hospital practicing the art of hypnobirthing might be something you’d want to consider. When I discuss this as an option with the families that I work with, my very first question that I’m always asked is what the hell is that? So in this blog, I’m going to take a deep dive into what hypnobirthing is and how it can assist you. What does hypnobirthing mean? hyp·no·birth·ing/ˈhipnōˌbərTHiNG/ nouna method of managing pain and anxiety during childbirth, involving various therapeutic relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing and visualization.”the hypnobirthing worked all through my labor” How can hypnobirthing help you? Hypnobirthing teaches you the physiology of birth, how your body is designed to grow and birth a baby comfortably and efficiently. It also teaches you how your mind triggers the production of certain hormones during pregnancy, labor and birth, which can either disrupt the natural flow of your physiology or help it work more efficiently. This teaches you how to stay calm during pregnancy. One of the biggest problems we sit with in our generation is that we don’t know what birth truly is. In a non-biased way birth has become a very medical event. It’s something in my business that I’ve been trying to bring awareness to. Because… Hypnobirthing brings back birth to its primal basics and it teaches you how capable the system you already have in place really is. Now when I talk about hypnobirthing I’m always met with much confusion. I remember the first time I brought it up with my mom… she had me back in the year 2000, she was in her late 30s when she had me. So every time I talk about something she’s always fascinated by how new she thinks it is when I try to explain that it was there before me. When I first told her about it she automatically thought it was about hypnotism and she thought that if I became a coach I would end up hypnotizing people during labor. At least that’s my understanding of how that conversation went. But in all reality it’s through the use of positive affirmations and a sound understanding of the process that you’ll learn how important hypnobirthing can be. It enables you to clear any negative messages you have surrounding birth. Is hypnobirthing right for you? Maybe at first glance you can’t even think of one negative thing around birth but your subconscious mind holds many things and with hypnobirthing it can reprogram your beliefs to create a calmness and confidence about the experience. Rather than gearing yourself up for trauma and disaster you are inadvertently taught to expect you will become excited and well equipped for an empowering and enjoyable experience. Often when I ask new families what they fear about birth I’m often met with similar statements. (Having a doula can sometimes help you work through these fears.) It’s going to hurt a lot… Something could happen to me… Something could happen to my baby… I’m going to have a C-section and I really don’t want one… With hypnobirthing you’re going to gain wisdom and confidence that’s going to carry you into parenthood. It isn’t a new way of birthing. It requires no leap of faith and it allows birth to happen in a closer alignment to the natural maternal and mammalian instincts. So that’s what it truly means when you decide you’re going to study hypnobirthing. There are many books located in our library and even more online. You can even find courses and hypnobirthing teachers. But truly my highest recommendation is if you aren’t ready to implement an actionable step into this birth…then hypnobirthing might not be right for you.
10 Items You Need for Twins: Duplicate or Not
Everyone, I am so excited to be having Nicole do a guest post for us today! She is going to be talking about a very important topic that all twin parents might possibly be going through! If you’re having twins I highly recommend you check out her website. All of her info will be at the bottom of the blog… enjoy! It can be an overwhelming experience when you find out you’re pregnant with twins. Quickly your mind goes to how can I afford two of everything? Below I’ll dive into 5 things you do need in duplicate and 5 things you don’t. What You Need in Duplicate Though you won’t need everything in duplicate, there are some things that you will. Diapers are the main thing you’ll need in duplicate and that will put a decent dent in your wallet. For a couple of years we had 3 kids in diapers…it wasn’t cheap. We’d stock up when there were deals and we got off-brand Target diapers. They worked well and were cheap compared to the name brands. You’ll likely need twice the amount of wipes as well. We would get them in bulk as much as possible, 8 packs in a box, but don’t go too crazy with the wipes as they can dry out if you buy too many ahead of time. The 8 packs at a time worked out well for us though! Bassinet or Crib Though it’s tempting to save money and space to have your twins sharing a sleeping area, it is not advised. The American Academy of Pediatrics strongly recommends babies don’t share a sleeping area due to the increased risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). Even though they look all cute snuggled together, it’s not safe as they may accidentally smother each other. As an aside, it’s not safe to have anything in their bassinet or crib for the first year of their lives including blankets or stuffed animals. Bottles if you’re pumping breastmilk or feeding formula, are something that you’ll need double of for twins, unless you want to be doing a lot of dishes throughout the day. Bouncers are something you don’t have to have two of but I would really recommend it. We used ours for everything from feeding our twins’ bottles to supervised naps, and play time. What You Don’t Need Two Of Diaper Cream if you’re changing diapers in the same spot for both twins, you likely won’t need more than one tube of diaper cream. My twins hardly needed it at all. High Chair is not required to be in duplicate if you don’t have the budget or space for it and/or you don’t plan on feeding your twins at the same time once they can eat solids at 6 months and beyond. Breast Pump is luckily something you don’t need two of since only one is typically covered by insurance and they’re expensive when purchased outright. You’ll likely make twice as much milk as a mother who just had a singleton so be prepared for that, having extra bottles or bags on hand to store breastmilk, but you don’t need a second breast pump at least. Tummy Time Mat is another thing you really don’t need two of. If you get a decent sized one you’ll easily be able to fit them both on it, at least their tummies and heads and their legs can be off the mat. Even though we had two, we typically just used one of them. Diaper Bag you don’t need two of just because you have two babies. I actually used one diaper bag for all 3 of my kids, including my twin newborns and 2 year old. Preparing for Twins Those are just the beginning of things you’ll need for twins, whether you need duplicate or not. Head over to my blog, The Way it Really Is Twin Mom Blog, to get more information about twin pregnancy, what you need for twins, tips for raising twins, and more! Author: Nicole Prom, Ed.S. of The Way it Really Is Twin Mom Blog Nicole Prom Nicole Prom, the founder of The Way it Really Is twin mom blog, is a dedicated blogger who is passionate about empowering twin moms navigate the joys and challenges of parenthood while finding time for themselves. With her genuine and relatable approach, Nicole shares her own experiences, offering valuable insights, practical tips, and heartfelt encouragement to her readers.
The Proven Method For Connecting with your Inner Self!
What does intuitive mean? in·tu·i·tive /inˈto͞oədiv/ adjective using or based on what one feels to be true even without conscious reasoning Just to give you a little insight on how you need to learn to be true even without conscious reasoning. This can happen through the art of journaling. If you speak to any coach, therapist, or self-help person, they will recommend this as well. I’ve done multiple exercises, ones with prompts, mind dumps, or just a pen and paper. Writing is one of those key sessions that allow you to freely do what you need to. One of the key components that childbirth needs is intuition and a lot of people are not connected or don’t feel that same connection to their gut. Let me tell you a story about a time that I just knew I had a gut feeling it happens quite often and I’ve learned to lean into it because if we don’t we can be led astray. At the time I was about 20 years old and I had a client or a client to be shall I say that I was getting a vibe that we weren’t going to click, but I was young and I was desperate to try to help people. So surely I said yes and that I would help her. Well about a week or two later it turns out she had also interviewed other doulas before signing my contract and one of the other doulas had spoken negatively about me and my age, this led to that same client that I had a gut feeling about deciding that I wasn’t the person for her but she said it in a more negative way. (No need to repeat that here.) So what are some of the five ways that I feel like I can connect better with myself? With journaling you need to focus on a few key elements. Trying to connect with my inner self, to connect with whatever the problem may be. In this case it’s not a problem but it’s pregnancy or having a baby. How are you connecting to it? Then you’ve got a visualization technique. How do you visualize it going down in your mind? Are you constantly thinking the negative way or you trying to see if positively? I also believe that you need to reflect on how you can install a self-care routine that would help better benefit yourself making you become more attuned. One of my virtual assistant clients actually recently told me that she believed I was wiser than most people my age. Obviously at the time of writing this I’m 23 years old and I see things in a way that most young women of my stature think. But I’ve learned to become more aware about what my body needs and less of what other people want of me. Of course I’m not perfect and I don’t think we all can reach that either as there is no such thing as perfect it’s all in our mind. No, what I’m saying here in this very long story I’m telling you today it’s all about how you can better connect with your inner self and my key word for that is JOURNAL. I’m the type to use prompts. I prefer it because it gives me something to start off with. My biggest tip is never think about it, set a timer for say 5 minutes, open your journal and write whatever your brain is having. I’ve had certain exercises like this where I’ve become more aware of something that I never even knew I needed. To finish it off with one more personal story, I took a writing class and we were presented with an exercise to write or draw what our present and future selves look like. In that moment my future self was invisible, there was no me to be seen but the present self was chained down with bearing bricks holding me to the ground. I then looked at that picture and wrote down everything that was in that sense representing the bricks. It shocked me how much I had learned about myself that I didn’t even realize what was going on. Journaling can be that for you as well and maybe writing isn’t your medium, maybe it’s drawing or maybe you need to sing, create music or dance. Whatever your passion is that could lead you to becoming more self aware, DO IT! P.S. If you feel like you need more support with intuitive journaling, I created a journal to do just that for expecting parents!
3 Things YOU Need to Discuss Before Baby’s Arrival
As a doula I have one of the greatest roles (in my very biased opinion) and that is educating. A lot of the times I see couples that haven’t discussed some very important things, and the only thing they find is important is the following: where is the baby sleeping? What shall we name him or her? Who do we text first that the baby is coming/is here. I mean those have great significance, but what about everything else? I feel blessed that when we sit down for a prenatal I know that there is so much that can be said or taught, an example why I offer six options of visits. We can always add more if needed. But I am getting off topic, here are three things that you NEED to be discussing before your baby has made their great debut into the world. 1. Help once you’ve arrived from the hospital If you wrote up a birth plan (and you should, here is my reasoning why) then you need to be writing up a postpartum plan. Maybe I’ll expand on this further in the future, but with all the prep work you should have a clear outline as to what help you’ll be needing. Will you be having someone take care of cooking? Or did you meal prep? Are you hiring someone to come (a postpartum doula, a night nurse, a nanny?) Or are you getting help by having a family member or friend come periodically or even stay for a while. How long will visitors be allowed to stay? – This is a big one because as much as we love mothers and mother-in-laws, sometimes they may need an allotted hour or two. 2. Breast or Bottle – or both? Now you might be like, I for sure know I want to breastfeed, and others might say I for sure know I want to bottle feed, but what about both? Are there other options? I bring this to mind as some people look for a wet nurse, or get human milk from local organizations (groups of moms donating milk) called Human Milk 4 Human Babies. This is something that you surely haven’t thought about. If you had kudos to you! What about breastfeeding… if it’s going poor who will you look to for assistance? Are you joining a support group? There are many more things then one or the other, I’d really look into all your options and conceive a plan. 3. Work – Going Back or Staying Home Obviously, finances play a big part in people’s decision when choosing such a big one as going to work or staying home. Sometimes we find that mothers will have full intention of going back to work but being with their child is something that completely side sweeps them as the perfect life. Financially start researching childcare in the area, and a rough estimate of how much money would come in and would go out. This information could save you time down the road when having to make this decision and then you might feel more prepared. (You can remember there is a price increase possibly in childcare options as well and limited space) Having a baby is a lot of work, and maybe this overwhelmed you on all the options you really should be thinking about, now you can tell yourself… wow I read this blog and I had already done these, or you gained insight on your next dinner date’s conversations. Although we know that not everything can be planned, it’s important to have conversations about these important things. Let alone the topics on circumcision, vaccines, schooling and more. Stay strong and keep the conversation flowing. It’s not a one night says it all kind of talk!
The Ultimate Doula’s Guide to Prenatal Yoga
Prenatal Yoga is the perfect way to strengthen your mind and body for birth. As a birth doula (and birthkeeper) I love hearing from clients that they practice Yoga. It’s one type of exercise that most doctors and midwives truly approve of. But why is it so popular? Which type of classes should I be taking? The questions are endless and today I am going to answer them. Is prenatal yoga safe for all stages of pregnancy? Yes, prenatal yoga is known for being safe for all stages of pregnancy. Of course some positions are told to be avoided over others, and some might not bring you the comfort you’re hoping for, but yes it is safe. What are the benefits of prenatal yoga for me and my baby? Lower your blood pressure Cuts down your risk of pre-term labor and other complications. Stabilize your moods Manage your weight And Improve your Labor and Delivery Are just a few of the benefits surrounding prenatal yoga and pregnancy. Are there any specific poses I should avoid during pregnancy? A few poses might be some of the following: Closed Twists Hot Yoga Boat Pose Strong Back Bends Lying Back Poses Abdominal Poses If you find a qualified prenatal yoga class in your area, they won’t even suggest these poses, but if you attend a regular yoga class make sure to avoid them. Can prenatal yoga help prepare for labor and childbirth? Yes, prenatal yoga can help you prepare for labor and childbirth. You’ll find that its breathing exercises are something you can carry over to when you’re getting contractions. Some of the poses might even bring you comfort when you’re going through labor. So it’s a yes all around from this doula! How often and for how long should I practice prenatal yoga? You may find that you can practice for less time during the first trimester with morning sickness, while in the second trimester upwards to an hour. You may want to practice doing yoga for 20-30 minutes every day during all trimesters to give you that sense of standard and balance amongst it. So there are some of the questions surrounding yoga with childbirth. In my perspective as a doula, I believe its a great exercise to be doing during your pregnancy for not only your body but your mind to greater help you with the key things of childbirth.
Why ALL parents should Create a Birth Plan – Especially for Hospital Birth
Having a birth plan is super important and something I recommend for all parents. Why is my opinion different from that of other doulas? I’ve seen firsthand what it’s like going into a birth without a birth plan. You only have thoughts of how you’d like your birth to go down. Then when it gets there so many things can go awry and you aren’t ready for it. We all know that it’s tricky to plan out a birthday party for a child (or adult) and have an extensive agenda of when to eat the cake, who will be there, and what their role is. So if it’s just that hard for a birthday party, why should you attempt for the unplannable. You won’t know the date the baby comes, or who will be there to attend to you (unless you have a doula and/or midwife), and you surely don’t know how long the whole birth is going to take. But putting a little effort into planning gives you the chance to focus on learning the things that go around. If you know that you don’t want an epidural unless you specifically ask for it by providing a code word, you did the research into why you DON’T WANT an epidural. If you say on your birth plan that you won’t be having an episiotomy then you have a reason for knowing it. Having it written down also gives your doula a chance to stand by your wishes, and do their best to support it against a medical staff who might have more issue (or not fully read it) So what is your take on this hot debate? Are you going to create a birth plan? Or just hope for the best?
