As a doula I have one of the greatest roles (in my very biased opinion) and that is educating. A lot of the times I see couples that haven’t discussed some very important things, and the only thing they find is important is the following: where is the baby sleeping? What shall we name him or her? Who do we text first that the baby is coming/is here.
I mean those have great significance, but what about everything else? I feel blessed that when we sit down for a prenatal I know that there is so much that can be said or taught, an example why I offer six options of visits. We can always add more if needed.
But I am getting off topic, here are three things that you NEED to be discussing before your baby has made their great debut into the world.
1. Help once you’ve arrived from the hospital
If you wrote up a birth plan (and you should, here is my reasoning why) then you need to be writing up a postpartum plan. Maybe I’ll expand on this further in the future, but with all the prep work you should have a clear outline as to what help you’ll be needing.
Will you be having someone take care of cooking? Or did you meal prep? Are you hiring someone to come (a postpartum doula, a night nurse, a nanny?) Or are you getting help by having a family member or friend come periodically or even stay for a while.
How long will visitors be allowed to stay? – This is a big one because as much as we love mothers and mother-in-laws, sometimes they may need an allotted hour or two.
2. Breast or Bottle - or both?
Now you might be like, I for sure know I want to breastfeed, and others might say I for sure know I want to bottle feed, but what about both? Are there other options?
I bring this to mind as some people look for a wet nurse, or get human milk from local organizations (groups of moms donating milk) called Human Milk 4 Human Babies.
This is something that you surely haven’t thought about. If you had kudos to you!
What about breastfeeding… if it’s going poor who will you look to for assistance? Are you joining a support group?
There are many more things then one or the other, I’d really look into all your options and conceive a plan.
3. Work - Going Back or Staying Home
Obviously, finances play a big part in people’s decision when choosing such a big one as going to work or staying home. Sometimes we find that mothers will have full intention of going back to work but being with their child is something that completely side sweeps them as the perfect life.
Financially start researching childcare in the area, and a rough estimate of how much money would come in and would go out. This information could save you time down the road when having to make this decision and then you might feel more prepared. (You can remember there is a price increase possibly in childcare options as well and limited space)
Having a baby is a lot of work, and maybe this overwhelmed you on all the options you really should be thinking about, now you can tell yourself… wow I read this blog and I had already done these, or you gained insight on your next dinner date’s conversations.
Although we know that not everything can be planned, it’s important to have conversations about these important things. Let alone the topics on circumcision, vaccines, schooling and more.
Stay strong and keep the conversation flowing. It’s not a one night says it all kind of talk!