What no one tells you about when having a homebirth over 30+
Two lines. Automatically you’re filled with a bunch of feelings. What if I can’t do this? Will my baby be alright because I’m over 30? Maybe, you were that person who had dreamed of giving birth since you were younger. You always hoped to have a family, and then time took over. You got a job doing something amazing (or maybe you started your own business), and it took a while to find a partner to start your family with. Now you’re pregnant but you’re older than you wanted to be. You wanted that home birth, the twinkly lights, the support of a midwife, and you’re like… welp – now what. All your dreams don’t have to be crushed. Midwives do support women over thirty with some stipulations. Most government registered midwives only support home births with a mother over thirty if they are healthy enough. They normally coin this term… low risk. This would be that you’d have to be at a certain BMI range, no pregnancy complications (like gestational diabetes), and no fetal issues. So you’re low risk then you’re golden you can get yourself a registered midwife in your area to assist your birth. Now let’s hypothetically say you weren’t low risk and say you had GBS or gestational diabetes. Now the midwife might assign your care to the hospital. If this is the case you’ll have to determine if it’s worth finding a midwife that can support you, or going unassisted. (There is the option of hospital birth, and with a doula and a partner that is on your team and will help stand up for you… this might be a very viable option still). There is the option of a traditional midwife – this is someone that can be tricky to find, since they won’t be working in their governments order you might have to do some searching, connect with doulas in the area who may know of someone. They have less rules, and go based on your overall health and belief that you are able to have a homebirth. Or unassisted. Now freebirth can be considered a very taboo subject. Some doulas are trained and told not to attend an unassisted birth. I’m a firm believer that you are entitled to your choice. As a doula I was trained to not be biased and support your choice of birth you want. If freebirth is an option for you – the LARGEST part that might scare new parents such as yourself, is the what if’s. In freebirth planning, studying is a big part of your care now. There are courses such as this one (that I highly recommend) that will give you a lot of the information you need. But don’t stop there, take a moment and continue your research by reading books, some midwifery books like this Heart and Hands, I find has an in-depth knowledge that you would know some of the in’s and out’s of labor. With unassisted birth you’ll want to make sure both you and your partner have a plan in place, that there might be something you can’t handle and that you will need to transfer to hospital for a true emergency. Recognizing those signs with a detailed plan can be helpful for all present at your birth. Regardless of how you choose to birth, support is the number one key. Even with a homebirth. If that means mom, and your sister can be there too, perfect. Labor can be long, and the more hands to hold you up can make it just a little bit easier.
6 Positions to Push Baby Out
Time to push: Finding Birthing Positions That Work Best for You Birth is a very intimate time, and even more so when pushing. As seen on TV the common way is laying on your back, legs in the air on stirrups with your vagina on display for everyone to see. The doctors need a clear view to see the baby coming. Now go watch some home birth videos and come back to me. Baby can be brought into the world in quite a few different positions and you don’t need to do it the same way as you saw on TV. Plus if you learn the history, we’re being taught that it was because King Louis had a fetish for watching women give birth. So what are the six positions to push a baby out? Well to quote one of my friends Aja Vu – it’s probably one of the ways you got a baby in! Position 1: Side Lying In this position it can better allow you to rest between contractions, a partial squat that allows the pelvis to widen, and is excellent for pushing in. Position 2: Supported Wide-Forward Squat You may find this is optimal for you to deliver your baby because it opens the pelvis in this squatting position, and can be done with a partner or by using a chair. It also allows your belly to rest and settle between your knees. Position 3: Hands and Knees Hands and Knees is slowly becoming more common to give birth, giving you the chance to open the pelvis all while To give your arms a break, lower your shoulders to the bed or floor mat and place your head on a pillow. Position 4: Standing Opening your legs wide, and pulling on something from the ceiling or holding onto something is another option for pushing the baby out. I remember an old bible movie I watched and they stood while holding on a rope to push, allowing gravity to take control. Position 5: Supported Semi Sitting Let your partner be more available by sitting behind you, and grab a hold of those legs, all while widening your pelvis. This position also allows gravity to come into play when the baby comes into the world. Position 6: Using a Birth Stool/ Cub/ Squat Any of these options allow you to rest while putting your full force into pushing, and can give you something for guidance while holding on to something. Out of all these options, which one are you the most willing to try, or have tried with a previous birth? Never heard of any of this and you’re due soon? Time to get yourself a doula… I offer virtual and in-person services.
Your age shouldn’t stop you from having a baby
Don’t let your age stop you from having a baby! I said what I said. Advanced maternal age isn’t what it used to be. It’s not the dirty thing, it’s actually a very popular theme with working women, we’ve seen an increase in mothers over 35+. My background My mother was 36 when she had me. Even back in 2000, they considered her a geriatric mother. That term is so offensive in my opinion. There is nothing wrong with having a child over 35. But to continue my story, my mother continued to have five more pregnancies after me. One resulted in a miscarriage (the usual 1 in 4 statistic) and then her final child was born at the age of 42. Having older parents never really bothered me, the only time I suffered any type of problem was when other people would make a comment – asking if I was having fun with grandma… inserts rolling eye emoji The facts Advanced Maternal age is still discussed as a serious problem but over the past four decades there has been a dramatic increase of pregnancy over the age of 35. Rebecca Dekker has a PhD and is an RN. She has a wonderful handout to answer some serious questions in regard to advanced maternal age. According to ACOG – Older women are more likely to miscarry or have a stillbirth. They have a greater chance of developing gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, and of delivering a baby who is very small. Then there can be problems with labor, resulting in a higher chance of cesarean birth. And while pregnancy increases a woman’s risk of developing blood clots (deep vein thrombosis), this risk is higher for older moms. It’s important to understand, however, that age-related concerns rise gradually, not all at once at age 35. This was made by Rebecca Dekker. The downfalls The biggest problem that advanced maternal age comes down to is the struggle to conceive naturally. I’ve worked with multiple clients as birth support where age was one of the biggest issues with conception.(It’s why having a fertility doula on your side can be beneficial to support you through the ups and downs of trying to conceive) There is a decline in eggs as well as a higher risk in miscarriage. There is also a higher risk of pregnancy complications such as down syndrome, higher risk of stillbirth, preeclampsia, among others. The wrap up… Don’t let this discourage you from having a child ( or hell even children). Your body was designed to have children, even if it’s a bit harder you can do this. If this is something you want, find a supportive team that is in your court! They want to see you succeed and want to make your dreams come true. Having a baby is a blessing regardless of your age. This I do know. Of course, there will always be naysayers. Trust yourself.
